When the Fairy Godmother went to check on her wayward kitchen android, she found him at the Three Bears’ Cottage. He was engaged in a punning game and being socialized by the bear family. Charley then went off with his friends on a mischievous misadventure involving a troll, a damaged foot bridge, and a hidden valley. Meanwhile, Cinderella needed to meet with an Ancient to be tested for her readiness to begin Elder training. The Fairy Godmother was not concerned about such weighty matters. She just wanted her android back.

Chapter 1. Perfectly Pickles

“No sensible grown up Zorconian would try to socialize an android, although perhaps young and imaginative children might try.” Grimmicus, A Biography, Stuarticus Cardicus.

he Fairy Godmother’s kitchen looked empty without the Cookie Machine. But something unexpected was on the kitchen counter. It was a jar of cucumbers in seasoned vinegar. Marie remembered that the locals called them “pickles.”

Perhaps the children had left them.

Marie decided to take the pickles to the Three Bears Family. That would give her an opportunity to check on her wayward Cookie Machine.

As she walked through the forest, Marie thought about what had happened. How could so much go wrong in one day? She walked to the Three Bears’ Cottage and knocked.

 “Good morning, Marie,” said Mama Bear when she opened the door.

Baby Bear was on the floor with “Charley.” The boys were laughing. They had made a tower with wooden blocks and were rolling a ball to knock it down. Papa Bear watched them from his reading chair.

Marie was confused about how to begin. She said, “Good morning, Mama Bear.”

She said, “I found this jar of pickles in my kitchen this morning and thought of you.”

She handed the jar to Mama Bear.

Mama Bear looked at her and the pickles quizzically and said, “Why thank you, Marie. That is thoughtful of you, if possibly peculiar.”

BC, who shared his mother’s fondness for word play, noticed the double “p’s”. He offered his own thoughts. “Pickles are particularly popular for picnics.”

Charley looked up. BC’s word usage seemed unusual. There were so many “p’s.” His blue eye blinked and his red eye blinked.

Papa Bear looked up from watching the boys. He said, “Polite people properly say ‘please’ prior to partaking in pickles.”

Mama Bear accepted the pickles. “Won’t you come in?” she asked the Fairy Godmother.

The Fairy Godmother came in. Papa Bear offered her a chair. The boys stopped their play and watched the grownups.

“So, you found the pickles in your cottage?” prompted Mama Bear.

“It is a mystery,” said the Fairy Godmother. “I thought that perhaps the children had left them behind.”

Mama Bear handed the jar of pickles to Papa Bear.

Sensing an opportunity to join in, Charley spoke up. “Parsimonious penguins prefer purple pickles, but polite partridges pop pickled Polish peppers.”

Everyone stopped and stared at Charley.

Nobody knew what to say. Charley sensed that he had said something wrong. He was confused.

BC realized that Charley did not understand the unwritten rules of punning. Finally, he looked at Charley and said, “Pointless!”

Charley blinked.

Mama Bear felt that BC’s explanation was rude and too short. So, she added, “Proper puns provide playful pleasure and promote particular purpose.”

Charley’s blue eye blinked and his red eye blinked.

The Fairy Godmother’s eyes got big with astonishment. Her training as a planetary anthropologist showed her what was happening. The Three Bears were teaching Charley to socialize and to take part in a playful conversation.

Before anyone said anything more, there was a knock at the door.

Papa Bear rose and answered it. Hansel was there. “Good morning, Papa Bear,” he said. Looking into the room he said, “Good morning, everyone.”  Then he saw the jar of pickles in Papa Bear’s paw.

“My pickles!” Hansel exclaimed without thinking. “I traded them for cookies at the Fairy Godmother’s cottage.”

He gulped when he realized what he had admitted. Then he apologized to the Fairy Godmother. “Sorry for all of the trouble I caused, Fairy Godmother.”

Papa Bear started to laugh in a low rumble. “By the pickles in my paw,” he exclaimed.

“Don’t go there,” said Mama Bear, steering off more punning. Then turning to everyone, she asked, “Would anyone like some pie?”

“Pumpkin pie?” asked BC slyly.

Mama Bear gave him the eye and said evenly, “Purple pear and pecan pie.”

Everyone sat down to enjoy pie and tea. The Fairy Godmother found that she liked pie with tea almost as much as she liked cookies with tea.

They started to talk about the wonder of finding all the cookies on the hill. Nobody talked about magic and the Fairy Godmother did not learn anything new to report. She was surprised to see Charley eating and using silverware. Androids don’t eat. They just drew power from Zorcon.

Finally, she addressed him. It felt strange calling him by a name and not just giving him a command like “Come here.”  Instead, she asked sweetly, “Charley, would you like to come back home with me?”

Charley responded, “I want to stay here. I have much to learn.” He looked at Mama Bear.

Mama Bear said, “I think that would be fine, Charley, at least for a while.”

Hansel then spoke about the reason for his visit. “I got a new compass for Christmas. I would like to invite the other boys to go on a hike.”

“I’m in,” said BC. Then he added, “If Mama and Papa don’t need me today.”

Mama Bear and Papa Bear looked at each other and nodded. “Stay out of trouble,” warned Papa Bear.

Charley added, “I’m in, unless you need me for something.”

Papa Bear looked at Charley again. Charley was learning quickly.

After a while, the Fairy Godmother said that she had to get back to her cottage.

Marie walked from the Bear Village, through the forest, and back to her cottage.

As she walked the planetary anthropologist muttered about “positively preposterous people” and then stopped herself. She smiled. She had not noticed this playful side of the people of Sol #3. She didn’t think it was worth reporting. It wouldn’t have changed anything.

End of Excerpt

Available on Amazon